Part 1: A success story unfolding
My wife has had depression symptoms since the age of 13. From the age of 21, she is on Zoloft, an SSRI, antidepressant. That was 25 years ago! Our doctor has repeatedly recommended here to wean off this medication but life without it was just unbearable for her.
When she was pregnant with our first child, 16 years ago, she had to stop taking Zoloft instantly. A real horror year followed. Her pregnancy and the months after birth were an absolute disaster. She was in bed with the curtains closed, even on hot summer days. Completely numb and in tears many days. When our son was born, she could not enjoy it a bit. She hated life, unable to care or function and should have been hospitalized, as experts have told us later. Only when she started to take the antidepressant again, life became better and after some months on drugs, she was alive and kicking.
So, you will never hear me say antidepressants suck.
They do not. They have saved her life!
But, there are many side effects.
She has tried to take less, tried 50mg, half of the usual 100mg but after three days, life was horror again.
This happened on an off and eventually, she stopped trying. She rested in the idea that she’d take them for life.
After extensive research on the internet, and reading some books on microdosing, we decided to take one last chance. We went with the protocol developed by James Fadiman. Take a microdose on day 1, wait on day 2 and 3 and so on.
There are several substance candidates for microdosing. Because she used an SSRI at the same time as she would be microdosing, the best candidate in terms of safety seemed to be psilocybin, ‘magic mushrooms’. We live in The Netherlands so this would not pose a problem in terms of availability.
The sweet spot for most people with dried mushrooms is around 200mg (0,2g). One-tenth of a ‘regular’ trip dose.
But, there is absolutely no way to define a sweet spot for a person on an SSRI.
On an occasion we had been taking a large dose of psilocybin truffles years before, it had sent me off the charts, she looked around bored for hours. Nothing happened!
We decided to go with 200mg of dried B+ psilocybe cubensis.
Step 1, increasing psilocybin
To be extra safe we first increased the amount of B+ from 25mg day 1 in steps of 25mg every 3 days.
Just as a precaution. We had read about serotonin syndrome, so we wanted to be on the safe side. If she would have an adverse reaction, it would show up lightly was our idea. Luckily, nothing happened.
Step 2, decreasing Zoloft
It is of utmost importance to go SLOW! The body has to adjust to the lower levels of serotonin.
I bought a very precise weighing scale 1/1000 of a gram. I used a mortar to grind up the Zoloft pills and put it in 000 capsules, the biggest. For easy aiming.
We used the following protocol for the Zoloft.
Day 1-5 100mg Zoloft
Day 6-10 98mg Zoloft
Day 11-15 96 mg Zoloft…Etc…
So, every 5 days she takes 2mg of Zoloft less than before.
A grand total of 250 days before reaching zero.
She is currently on 20mg, one-fifth of the amount she has been taking for twenty years. For me, it is an absolute miracle seeing the transformation so far. Her overall mood is good and she is much more earthed. She described her previous state as having clouds in her head, but clearly, the fog has lifted. In arguments, she now is sharp, before I could see her eyes go blanc regularly, the Zoloft seems to take up processor speed somehow. Her hair is growing healthy again, she had severe hair loss now and then. Her weight is healthier than before. She procrastinates less.
In all, her ‘Real Self’ is unfolding piece by piece, with the help of 200mg (0.2g) of psilocybin mushrooms. She seems to be entering a little rougher waters now, but we have good confidence it will be a success. If anybody has tips from their own experience or for the last step, I invite you to share it, please send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org
When she has reached zero, I will update this report and publish part 2.
Not only the mushrooms ‘magic’
It is important to state here that my wife has worked hard on her self for many, many years, had all kinds of therapy. This is what she uses now to think straight again. It is not only the mushrooms ‘magic’!
My wife is doing all the necessary stuff like exercise, good food, supplements.
She seems to be entering rough waters now at 20mg.
From 26 mg I noticed depression symptoms.
What to do?!
1. Go back to 26mg and stay there for a while
2. Take mushrooms every other day
3. Take more mushrooms
4. A combination
It would be of great value if we could speak to a psychiatrist in The Netherlands who is open-minded to the safe use of psychedelics and can help us out, please let me know, by sending an email to email@example.com
I want to thank Albert Hofmann, James Fadiman, Ram Dass, Terence McKenna, Michael Pollen, Ayelet Waldman, Paul Stamets and the hundreds of pioneers that tried to inform us about the use of psychedelics, sometimes even with concern for their own safety.
Also, I’d like to thank the Microdosing.nl team and other internet forum communities like Reddit. So many people donated their time by writing firsthand stories so people like us could make a well-informed decision.
Please be safe. I have no medical training. People differ. Do not take this as medical advice. Ask your doctor.
Microdosing.nl cannot be held responsible for the contents of the experience accounts, nor can we guarantee their truthfulness and accuracy. These written accounts are not necessarily backed by scientific or clinical proof offered by doctors or experts in the subject matter. These experiences should never be taken as advice or recommendation.