Learning self-trust through micro-dosing with iboga

Dara microdosed with iboga root bark for seven weeks. Read here which effects it had on her mood, productivity and self-reflection.

Dara’s experience

I’ve taken psychedelics for decades and iboga was the hardest for me to stomach. I went to an experienced provider who made us chew the root bark (rather than swallow it in capsules) and it was so awful, I only managed 3 out of 10 spoons—hardly a full dose. (I read somewhere that iboga tasted like battery acid-laced kitty litter, and I wouldn’t disagree!). Since then, I’ve been curious what a full dose would be like, but I couldn’t shake my associations with projectile vomiting.

Motivation

I’m from California, where micro-dosing substances like LSD and psilocybin is popular, so the idea of digesting smaller, manageable doses intrigued me. What would it be like to navigate a normal work day with a mild psychedelic boost? I’m a big fan of taking a hero’s dose to fully surrender to the experience, but personal health issues led me to think micro-dosing would suit me better. The subject repeatedly came up during dinner parties, so it was on my radar and only a matter of time before I took the plunge.

The reasons for micro-dosing are as varied as the users.  Friends of mine have micro-dosed LSD and mushrooms for a better, more creative or productive day, to feel centered, etc. (and yes, slightly buzzed.)  I consider myself a pensive, introspective type so I wanted something that would invite deeper insights—especially as I’d just ended a 10-year relationship. As iboga is often used to help people break addictions, I hoped it could help me break the behavioral addictions and wrong thinking that led me to make my relationship fail.

Routine

Before I began, I read everything I could about micro-dosing iboga, and how important it was to enter the process with an intention, phrased as an affirmation. I journaled for a week about my life to pinpoint exactly what I wanted to release (a therapeutic process in itself—how often do we spend a week dialoguing about our issues?). In the end, I discovered it was my lack of self-trust, which led to faulty life choices and a resistance to fully embracing my life. I repeated my affirmation every morning in the mirror while placing 2 tincture drops under my tongue. The disgustingly bitter taste was immediately familiar. 2 drops is a decidedly low dose, but I was emotionally raw so I opted for the minimal.

Unlike LSD and mushrooms, which are water soluble, iboga is fat soluble so micro-dosing has an accumulative effect. I micro-dosed for 7 weeks and while there were no hallucinogenic effects, I became increasingly attuned to my environment.  

Observations

I’m a writer and I normally finish writing a personal journal every 3-4 months, but with micro-dosing, I did it in 3 weeks! I had to write everything down. Songs, ideas, literature, random conversations, articles and my personal experience—all were all connected, part of a greater continuum. Ideas and insights emerged or bubbled out of every situation, as did synchronicities. I became more creative with problem solving because my mind was flexible, open to new ways of thinking.  

I have been a seeker most of my adult life. I came to psychedelics with sense of adventure, the desire to discover myself, the nature of existence, to experience the ineffable and through all this, gain greater consciousness. Micro-dosing brought my experience down to a very human level. Meaning it grounded me in 3D existence, made the ordinary extraordinary, and helped me better understand the mental traps I set for myself.

Iboga helped me gain the perspective of a neutral observer. My judgements about being an imperfect human disappeared and were instead replaced with gratitude for the purpose those imperfections served. I understood—because I felt it, it was embedded within my entire system—how playing small no longer worked for me.  I was learning self-trust because really, that’s where it all begins.  

In terms of heartache, the tincture worked like a massive dose of meditation, allowing me to calmly tune into my heart space. I listened to its hurts, wept over its losses, celebrated its joys and finally moved towards acceptance (for me, that’s a much longer process). I felt more but with less sting. I understood there was no emotion or life circumstance that was better than any another—they all needed to be felt and experienced to learn.

Time to stop and integrate

7 weeks in, I took my daily dose and went to work but I’d hit a tipping point—I started to feel high. I experienced mild panic because I had to give a presentation thought I managed to fake being sober (but I certainly wouldn’t repeat it.) The next day, I decided to stop micro-dosing because I didn’t want it to affect my work—I had too much on the line at that point.  It seemed the right time to stop and integrate.

I loved micro-dosing iboga and would gladly do it again. It taught me how my mind is a powerful tool and by using it intelligently, intuitively and with trust, I could enrichen my life.

 

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Microdosing.nl cannot be held responsible for the contents of the experience accounts, nor can we guarantee their truthfulness and accuracy. These written accounts are not necessarily backed by scientific or clinical proof offered by doctors or experts in the subject matter. These experiences should never be taken as advice or recommendation. 

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